Genesis 3:16 tells us what will happen now that sin, or disunity with God, has entered the world. 

We’re no longer in unity with the earth from which we were made, so laboring for food will be difficult.  

We’re no longer in unity with our own bodies, so laboring to give birth will be difficult. 

Husbands and wives are no longer in unity with each other, so the relationship will be broken.  She still desires her husband, but he instead will rule over her. 

Notice that this is descriptive language, not prescriptive language. 

This is a prophecy, not a command or a goal for which to strive. It’s the consequence or result of living in a fallen, sinful world.  This verse is in much the same vein as Deut 28.  If you disobey and do these things, this is what will happen, as a natural result of living outside of unity with God.  This is not what should happen.  What should happen is that you live according to God’s laws, are in unity with him, and are blessed. 

When people focus too heavily on the spiritual realm, and believe their love and commitment is all that is needed, they often end up unprotected in the physical realm. And when people focus too heavily on the physical realm, and believe that marriage is only about procreation, a legal place to satisfy lust, and upholding the idol of the nuclear family, they miss out on the depths of intimacy and oneness that give us a glimpse of life as it was in the garden.